- not from the consumption of kidneys masquerading as brains though. ah hana, i was feasting at a restaurant on bay street, and being a rather innocent new carnivore, i had naïve thoughts regarding the misnomer "sweetbreads". i pictured tiny toasted breads drizzled with a bit of honey and olive oil, perhaps some fresh black olives to boot, accompanied by flat pasta and pesto. instead i got brain-looking clumps and sweet tomato sauce.

please don't look at me askance, if i'd known the real origin of sweetbreads i would never have ordered the dish - in my new carniverous state, i am finding lines of politics i lacked completely as a self-appointed vegetarian (at the age of seven) who detested the texture of meat. i hate eating anything from baby animals. i will leave it at that, as i can feel my laptop misting over with tears already.

in other news

possible sappho hiatus
the beloved toni has come down with The Flu and a Complication: Ear Infection. as such sappho has assumed the role of nurse, a role filled equanimously by the aforementioned toni for many months prior as sappho's immune system tried to prove it did not exist. as such poor toni is taking Almost but not Quite Lethal Amounts of Tylenol™ and Antibiotics (10 Days). i am worried about his fever and hoping it will break in the next day or so. but i might not be able to update, for i am a Nurse and a Fundraiser at the same time, with a grant due this friday.

good things do come from complications
due to being under the weather, toni is watching lots of bbc television shows rented from bay st. video and by the end of the night - when his headache gets worse - i read to him. which means, to my delight, i am finally sharing diana gabaldon's stories with him. we are in chapter 4 of outlander, and i must say i am thoroughly enjoying reading this tale aloud. and toni, of course, is loving the story.

layout
dear tulip, thanks for the feedback. turned out i didn't have to do anything to the code itself - i published a post using the IE browser, and lo! the format and font worked. bizarre, but very gratifying. it looks pretty, no?

love,
sappho

Labels: books, food, sick

the personal history of sappho, that is - as the first time in my 23 years that i have eaten kidneys.

it was a mistake - i didn't know what i was eating at the time. although i guess it doesn't really make things better to have thought i was eating brains.

Labels: food, too funny

we are making steaks in a red wine reduction. and couscous with cumin and peppers. with vegetables doused in a balsamic vinaigrette. and red wine to accompany.

ohhh i love food.

Labels: cooking, food, yumyumyum

my friend's mother brought these treats from japan for toni & i to enjoy. ohhhh they are both so good! crunchy biscuits covered in chocolate, and flaky white and dark chocolate crisscrossed deliciousness...i think i will soon faint from the overload of boxed deliciousness sitting in this apartment.

Labels: food, japan

see this cute little giraffe? it weighs the same as me. it's taller, but we share the same weight.

see, i was sick, for a really long time, and i lost like 16 pounds. i really needed those 16 pounds. i've been trying to gain it back, but i can't. it's really annoying. like my wardrobe is now all the wrong size kind of annoying.

so, on sunday, a year and a half after my left wisdom teeth came in, my right wisdom teeth decided it was time for them to see the world too. i think they got a bit jealous of the left set of wisdom teeth bragging about how much awesome food they kept getting to chew. not to mention all the other sexy teeth they get to hang out with. (hi toni!)

so the right side of my face is a bit swollen, and my top right wisdom tooth must have trained in taekwondo or something because i think it's trying to break my cheekbone.

the upshot of this is I. CAN'T. OPEN. MY. MOUTH. OR. CHEW.

if this goes on for a week i'm not going to be able to go outside without my pants falling off my non-existent butt. if i lived in the mediterranean that wouldn't bother me so much cuz it would be warm enough to wear a dress. but i'm in canada. and it's almost november. and it's frickin' cold.

i also get really cranky when i can't eat. i happen to like food.

i also happen to really hate pudding.

Labels: challenges, controversy, food

it took a long time to cook. we made so much it didn't fit in one pot.

it took so long to cook that we were really really really frustrated because we were hungry.

don't worry tony is ok.

really.

we were ok, because of this:

oh and the chili? it was good.

Labels: cooking, food

you know the purple potatoe that officially freaked me out? yeah. well, here it bloody is. since blogger can't upload it into the original post (see below, i am not a cook.) frickin' blogger. i'm gonna move to vox. not that you care. i'll get you abducted by the purple potatoe alien wannabes.

so there.

Labels: cooking, food

i have a long, fractured history with the kitchen. i don't remember how it started, but always, as a kid growing up in a household with 5 siblings, i remember being teased and given the metonymic nametag "disaster in the kitchen". whenever i heard that phrase, it meant me. perhaps i took this more to heart than it was meant - which is likely, as i was also always "the sensitive one" - and so, my avoidance of kitchens has followed me since i moved away from home.

being a vegetarian until 2 years ago, i never had any cause to deal with meat. veggies, i can do, to perfection (touch wood!). this talent (especially in creating salads) earned me the moniker of "the assembler". my family seems to have an odd propensity for attaching descriptive phrases to others. still, "the assembler" still meant something essential - i couldn't cook. i could bake, for sure - scones, chocolate cake, cupcakes, muffins...even when i made a lasagna - well, that's really assembling layers, essentially. pasta, cheese, tomato sauce, spinach (yes it was vegetarian), repeat, repeat, repeat.

yesterday, for the first time, i cooked meat.

i was really scared the night before. i was planning to make stew, a wonderful beef stew i remember from childhood (when i still ate meat). the stew my older brothers ate and taught me how to mop up the delicious sauce with fresh whole wheat bread - or the biggest treat of all, being allowed to make Sloppy Joes.

i told toni last night that i was scared shitless of making the stew the next day. i was convinced it would be a Huge, Unforgiveable Mess, and he would come home to me shaking and huddled in a corner of the living room with the Stew on the Stove in the Kitchen uttering menacing gutteral laughter from its burnt, inedible state. i would confirm my metonymic nametag and be whisked into eternal history as a truly undomestic and powerless goddess in the kitchen.

the next day i put off making the stew for as long as possible. until i realized with horror that if i didn't bite the bullet and start it now, toni would come home and the stew wouldn't be even recognizable as an existing dish, because i would still be washing the raw meat.

Raw. Meat.

that was the most difficult part. i've never touched raw meat in my life. i still haven't. i used tongs, darlings. TONGS. oh yes. i rinsed the meat, holding it with tongs, put the pieces on paper towel to drain, and transferred the cleansed Raw. Meat. into a saucepan with olive oil and butter to brown. i didn't touch it once.

Not. Once.

sappho: 1
stew: 0

then i realized in a panic that i didn't have ANYTHING ready - seasoned flour to sprinkle on meat? where?! where?!!! - while i had to monitor the Raw. Meat. that was starting to SIZZLE in its sauce of drippings, olive oil, and butter. what if i burnt it?! quick, start the potatoes. wait, start the turnips. WAIT I CAN DO THIS LATER, I NEED TO MAKE SEASONED FLOUR.

i still have to learn the art of timing when cooking. or rather, planning actions in advance to maximize the fluidity of the act of cooking. so you don't have half-peeled, half-washed turnips and potatoes with their skins lying helter-skelter while you desperately pull down spices and flour and grab a fork while whipping around to monitor the Raw. Meat. browning behind your back because you have the Worst Kitchen Ever.

i rent apartments for their bathrooms not their kitchens i think i've explained enough to make my reasons for [fear of kitchens] understandable?

luckily i got the seasoned flour mixed and ready in time to rescue the meat before it burnt, transferred it and sprinkled it with flour. i still think that's weird. but i did it, the recipe told me to and i know the Hand of the Cooking God would have descended and ripped off my head if i hadn't done what was written in the Joy of Cooking. (HAHAHAHAHAHA, JOY! OF! COOKING! HAHAHAHA)

then i started peeling potatoes and turnips and carrots and chopping onions, calling toni a few times frantically ("how long do potatoes take to cook?" "when do i put the wine in?" "I'M GETTING STRESSED!") while peeling potatoes i became temporarily freaked out when some of the ones toni insisted on buying weren't white inside, but PURPLE:

[i will insert a picture of the Purple Alien Potatoe once Blogger gets its Image Uploading Act together]

i put them in anyway but i was convinced at any moment these weird freaks of nature would develop eyes and mouths with tons of pointy teeth that would proceed to chop off my fingers one by one because WHO DARES TO PEEL THE PURPLE POTATOE?

i boiled the potatoes, purple ones and all, steamed the turnips, chopped up the carrots and ate some, and poured in the red wine.

sappho: 2
stew: 0

then i realized I FORGOT TO ADD THE CHILI SAUCE and i frantically poured half a cup in.

sappho: 2
stew: 1

then toni came home and brought with him red wine from australia (yum yum!) and we left the stew to stew.

it stewed and stewed.

it smelled better and better.

then toni said, as we added the veggies, “what about the celery?”

cue frantic sappho running to fridge pulling out celery cleaning it chopping it up and throwing it in.

sappho: 2
stew: 2

it stewed.
i fretted.
we drank wine.
i felt better.

then i cut up some bread and i ASSEMBLED a salad because that’s what i do best, and we served the stew.

it was good.

sappho: 3
stew: 2

but it was a bit too spicy for my taste (because of the chili sauce i used).

sappho: 3
stew: 3
(damn chili sauce).

but:
toni LOVED IT.

sappho: 4
stew: 3

i won. And i can’t wait to try it again next time, with my mum’s homemade chili sauce.

Labels: cooking, food