listening to stabilo's album, happiness & disaster (title track)

we are making striploin for dinner; yellowtail shiraz to accompany (as well as for the marinade ;)

i realized earlier this week that i've been pretending things are ok without realizing it. the realization occurred when i crumpled at work (a donor called and was rude to me - a common occurrence at my old job, not at my current place of employment) and i completely broke down. cried. at work. a very unusual kind of behaviour for my personality - i am a crier in private, in safe surroundings. and i certainly do not feel comfortable or safe or private at work, so it was triply odd.

in any case - the lack of updates are due to me not being well, the crying - well, i've been dealing with a lot, and am tired, and have to keep going at a point where i guess my body, my brain, and my emotions are simply not up to it. which is a point i am absolutely furious to be at - i am the kind of person who survives, who is sensible, who keeps going, and can deal with things. or so i thought.

in any case, i will be fine - but a break is in due order, so you may not hear from me for a while, but don't worry (if you do worry). if there is anything i am resolved about, it is to be all right eventually, no matter what happens.

ciao.

~ sappho

Labels: sick