i just sent off the last essay i will [probably - i always have to cover my ass. disclaimers abound in my life. this is JUST IN CASE i lose my mind and go into graduate school. or something.] ever write in my life. it was a terrible one, which makes me sad. i think i will always wish that i was one of those people who possesses a tenacious brain, and the kind of energy that allows them to excel academically. i don't have the patience for it anymore, though; and i have ended my schooling so far with a peculiar feeling of intense boredom. i really did feel like an essay machine, as if producing endless pages of writing really was simply rote work, and nothing dynamic, fierce, or imaginative. all of which is, of course, my own fault. through laziness (pure and simple).

it's been an odd weekend. we really did nothing, to be honest - i had to work on my essay, and the weather made us fidgety (because tony couldn't go out for walks, and enjoy the sun. there wasn't a sun. in fact, there was snow.) in late april, no less. what peculiar weather patterns we are having.

the spadina girls (carolyn, kailey, and talibah, among others) have broken up house, which is a sad state of affairs - but change is inevitable, and while i loved going to one place and seeing all my beautiful friends at once, i can still see them all since they won't be far away. they will all just be in different places, building different lives.

i think i will take a break before re-grouping and getting ready to tackle the next stage of work i have to do. now that the essays are finished, i need to study for my final exam in film theory, and pack. which will be a nightmare as it always is, but it will happen nonetheless. i need to mock up a detailed moving schedule so we don't get confused as to what stuff is going where. i realized that last night in a half-comatose state...i'm amazed and grateful i remembered that idea, because it will certainly make the move easier.

it's such a rainy cold day. i can't wait til may 6th, after which i can curl up with tea and a good book, one of my very own choosing!

~ sappho

Labels: transitions