i am listening to ella fitzgerald and charlie parker play (and sing) "under the moon". sigh. heaven.

tonight is the show for synergy. eeek. i hope it goes well. i realized i am going to be very sad when this is over - i love performing so much. i am determined to perform 150% and to stretch my capabilities as far as they will go...at this point, i can only lead the girls when they are backstage; once we hit the stage if they decide to not give their fullest, or try their hardest, i can't do anything about it. i can only ensure that i perform to my own fullest (which i hope is ever growing!)

i am so happy dancing! this is something completely unexpected. somehow i always thought i would continue academically, and push myself to do a phd and teach...but i can't, now, i realize that, and i have to dance as much as i can while i can, as well as figure out how to pay the grocery bills. (and rent). we will see how it goes. i have lost a lot, by doing university these four years instead of honing my dance skills and increasing my training and dance experience.

everything outside is caught between cold and warm - you can feel warmth in the air, but it is chilly, and it is wet and rainy and grey. it is a good thinking day. a good peace day. the kind of day where as night ventures forth, ghosts walk.

this place is starting (just now) to feel like a home. the walls are familiar; the feel of the place is beginning to settle in. it is odd, how it has taken longer for this apartment to feel as if it's my own - and now, it is starting to, only four weeks before i move again. perhaps subconsciously it is because of the upcoming move that this place is becoming more and more like a certain home. imminent change throws things into interesting perspectives.

~ sappho dancing and skipping to a tune only she can hear

Labels: transitions