this has been bothering me for awhile so i decided to blog about it and see what you guys think.

i follow Grey's Anatomy Insider - their posts show up in my google reader - and a particular section in the round table discussion about the most recent episode aired, Losing My Mind, made me really mad. the specific question and answers that pissed me off:

4. Shonda Rhimes has said that Meredith and Derek will get together for good, and how this will happen will be “yummy” and “special.” Has she followed through on her promise so far?

McCritic: Gosh, no. All that’s happened since the show returned from its strike hiatus has been a contrived brain tumor surgical study - used just to get Mer/Der in the same room a lot - and the show using a therapist to explain all the fault of Meredith loyal viewers already knew she had. This isn’t special. It’s boring.

iheartizzie: Absolutely not. There’s still a window of opportunity to salvage this season next week (and a two-hour episode at that), but Grey’s Anatomy has been flat since the strike. I’d love to hear readers’ thoughts on this, as it’s hard to criticize a show I love so, but I don’t really buy Nurse Plot Device or Therapist Plot Device or Clinical Trial Plot Device. I haven’t given up hope but patience is wearing a thin. Here’s hoping for a brilliant finale. Tie it together, Shonda. Bring it home. We know you can do it.

the only answer that started to actually get to the point i think the writers at Grey's are developing was missingBurke's answer:

missingBurke: Yes. Grey’s Anatomy prides itself on real, flawed characters. We don’t need major events to get Mer and Der together finally. We just need them to slowly evolve, to see one another as we’ve seen them both for years now. Once they do, damn right it’ll be yummy and special.

but even then missingBurke didn't really get to the issues that Grey's Anatomy is addressing in a very brave and courageous way. missingBurke hit on the fact that the characters in the show are real and flawed; and that as a result, they need to evolve to achieve positive change. but here is the answer that i think really is to the point:

Meredith is messed up. we know that. she's messed up because her Mom was a narcissist who tried to kill herself when she didn't get Richard, a person who took away Mer's feeling that she had a right to exist. we, as viewers, get that. the thing is, Mer doesn't get that. she doesn't understand. that's why she can't let Derek or Lexie love her. that's why she sucks at relationships, because she doesn't believe she's lovable. she doesn't believe she has the right to live, so she sticks her hand on live, unexploded ammunition and she doesn't swim when she knows how to.

but Derek is with Rose, who is more adult, and more together, and knows she is lovable. Rose has self-awareness that Mer doesn't. so Rose is more capable of giving in a relationship than Mer is.

Derek is with Rose. this propels Mer into therapy. do you know how revolutionary, and amazing, and gutsy it is for Grey's Anatomy to show doctors going to therapy - male and female doctors going to therapy? (Remember Mark's $400 an hour therapist?) I think Derek needs to go to therapy but whatever. that's not what I'm discussing right now. I'm discussing Mer and Mer going to therapy. Did you know that the suicide rates among doctors are equal between men and women? that female doctors are more than twice as likely to kill themselves than women in the general population?

and here's Grey's Anatomy, portraying people in the medical profession, however dramatized it is and not connected to real hospital life - still, they are portraying people, who are doctors, admitting they have problems and taking steps towards helping themselves so they can survive.

Mer is growing. she has someone telling her what's what. she has someone saying, look, you've got problems, that's ok. we can do something about it. she has someone she can say anything to in confidence. and while she's growing as a person, she's also growing professionally, because she's doing a clinical trial and instead of avoiding Derek (like she most likely would have done before she started talking with a therapist) she's working with him, and reminding herself of reality.

so i get really pissed off when people think that these things are just plot devices. there's so much more to it than that. the people who are writing this show, they are aware of their responsibilities. they are airing something on television that millions of people are accessing. they have the ability to send important messages. and they are doing that. you can have a baby if you are HIV positive and take your meds responsibly. if you believe you have it in you to be an amazing surgeon, you can start making that come true by trying. by doing a clinical trial. by helping yourself get better by taking the time to talk to someone no matter how frickin' scared that makes you feel.

i agree with spart. grey's has been kicking ass. thank you, shonda.

Labels: grey's anatomy