meg said something today - in the context of a larger conversation - that really struck me. she said that "you keep growing into yourself; this is something that continues for the rest of your life."

i really connected with the way she expressed that idea. it's like the permutations of your personality keep filling out - kind of like the way we say guys haven't filled out their frames yet (when they're moving into their late teens/early twenties and are still scrawny but tall and gangly).

it's interesting the way the constellation that is who you are fluctuates. sometimes you know where you're at and you're calm and maybe happy - and other times something comes along - a comet, to go along with my corny metaphor - that shakes things up and - depending on your personality - gets you down. it's like the tide. or the moon, waxing and waning. sometimes you're there, as you know yourself; and sometimes you disappear and you can't, no matter how hard you try, find a part of yourself that you recognize and can hold on to.

it's like sketching a drawing and erasing parts of it half-way through because they're not forming like you thought they were going to. not that what you were in the process of drawing before was wrong - it just didn't fit anymore into the space you were trying to fill in.

Labels: being