yesterday toni, a, and i went to innis for a reel asian screening that the tjsff was co-presenting. a asked me on saturday to make a speech before the screening, so i prepared a short one and spoke yesterday. i am really terrible at making speeches - i get nervous in front of crowds* - but the more i do it the easier it gets. yesterday was great. i still shook a bit once i had sat down and went to put my speech away but i was cool as a cucumber up there. also i didn't move around like i normally do which was refreshing. maybe i really am growing up :)

in other news

the future: spastic planning
this morning i made a 3-year plan :O no, really, it is a framework of fairly certain goals we need to hit by specific months and the stuff we need to do in the months ahead to accomplish the goals. i am hoping some of the timelines are a bit big and will end up moving closer together. *touch wood*

daydreams
sometimes i find i've fallen into a daydream without realizing it and there is a house, with tiny pattering feet, and loving arms, and curiousity. i hope so much this happens. i am always scared that something within me will fail everything - and yet it's that fear, of the weak part of me giving in, that makes the stronger part of me ever so determined to keep going.

post-it note
*have any of you ever seen jerry seinfeld's spot on fear? he says the number 1 fear people cite is speaking in front of crowds. he then says, "it's the no. 1 fear - no. 2 is death. it's ahead of death!" that always makes me laugh. it also oddly helps me not be too scared when i have to talk in front of people. practice, practice, practice...

Labels: daydreams, future