~ the evolution of dreams ~
January 24, 2005,10:52 p.m.
my printer is evil.
i am really tired. i am also really sore and i am getting sick. i finished an essay for a presentation i have tomorrow, (and tomorrow is one hell of a day to begin with) - so i tried to print my essay.
i have been having difficulties with my printer lately. the last time, tony fixed it, by being gentle and possessing the Magic Touch. (refer to Deskjet 952C, Resurrected.)
tonight, the printer decided not to print. this was the last straw. i performed this cycle of actions at least 5 times:
1) turn off printer to stop excessive spewing of printer illegibility.
2) cancel documents in printer queue.
3) shut down all programs.
4) restart computer.
5) attempt to print.
6) return to action (1).
in a fit of Saf Anger (that really no one should see) i sent the offensive document to myself, copied it in microsoft word format as well as text document format to a disk, turned off the bloody computer, and resolved to get up half an hour earlier (read: Saf is Going to Bite Anything's Head Off if it Gets in Her Way When She Gets Up at 7:30 AM Tomorrow and Feels Like Throwing Up First Thing Because That Has Been Her General State of Feeling All Day Today and Why Should It Stop Tomorrow?) to go to the library and print the stupid essay.
after brushing my teeth and removing my contacts i realized i didn't know what time the library opened in the morning. god help me if it didn't open til 10. 10 is too late. it won't open at 10, it'll open latest 9 AM, right? goddammit. saf realizes she won't sleep if she doesn't find out the library's hours.
so, i trundle back to the computer after finding my glasses and pretending to bang a few walls in, and i boot it up. i open internet explorer. i type in utoronto's address. i think, "why not?" i turn the printer on, i open microsoft word and load up the problematic essay. i press print. the printer groans and hacks and hews out the bloody printer NONSENSE.
SAF DECIDES THIS IS ENOUGH. SHE GIVES THE PRINTER A PIECE OF HER MIND, AND SHE HITS THE TOP OF IT WITH THE PALM OF HER HAND.
why, oh why, oh why, didn't i slam my hand onto the printer an hour and a half earlier? and why does technology obey the more civilized touch of males, and only responds to females when they yell, scream, and physically abuse it?
yes.
the printer printed my bloody essay.
i'm going to bed.
i have been having difficulties with my printer lately. the last time, tony fixed it, by being gentle and possessing the Magic Touch. (refer to Deskjet 952C, Resurrected.)
tonight, the printer decided not to print. this was the last straw. i performed this cycle of actions at least 5 times:
1) turn off printer to stop excessive spewing of printer illegibility.
2) cancel documents in printer queue.
3) shut down all programs.
4) restart computer.
5) attempt to print.
6) return to action (1).
in a fit of Saf Anger (that really no one should see) i sent the offensive document to myself, copied it in microsoft word format as well as text document format to a disk, turned off the bloody computer, and resolved to get up half an hour earlier (read: Saf is Going to Bite Anything's Head Off if it Gets in Her Way When She Gets Up at 7:30 AM Tomorrow and Feels Like Throwing Up First Thing Because That Has Been Her General State of Feeling All Day Today and Why Should It Stop Tomorrow?) to go to the library and print the stupid essay.
after brushing my teeth and removing my contacts i realized i didn't know what time the library opened in the morning. god help me if it didn't open til 10. 10 is too late. it won't open at 10, it'll open latest 9 AM, right? goddammit. saf realizes she won't sleep if she doesn't find out the library's hours.
so, i trundle back to the computer after finding my glasses and pretending to bang a few walls in, and i boot it up. i open internet explorer. i type in utoronto's address. i think, "why not?" i turn the printer on, i open microsoft word and load up the problematic essay. i press print. the printer groans and hacks and hews out the bloody printer NONSENSE.
SAF DECIDES THIS IS ENOUGH. SHE GIVES THE PRINTER A PIECE OF HER MIND, AND SHE HITS THE TOP OF IT WITH THE PALM OF HER HAND.
why, oh why, oh why, didn't i slam my hand onto the printer an hour and a half earlier? and why does technology obey the more civilized touch of males, and only responds to females when they yell, scream, and physically abuse it?
yes.
the printer printed my bloody essay.
i'm going to bed.
posted by sappho
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